I could probably draw drunk people in some sort of embrace all day. It has possibilities.
I had this weird idea, that my inherit clumsiness stems from before a time I really had memories - around three or so:
When I was a child, I always had ear infections and ear aches. I do remember a few when I was a little older and they were horrible. Probably similar to bad tinnitus, or something similar. Usually, with strep throat. I also know that my family was dirt poor, without insurance. I doubt I was mishandled or mistreated - not even a bit, but I bet having so many ear problems led to some weird wrong-wiring when it came to balance and hearing.
I doubt I have the best hearing in the world and if you heard me talk, you may actually pick up a slight muffling of my voice - the connection between whatever composes speech and the muscles/nerves that make you talk are just a little on the weak side. Even though I attempted to excel at things like skateboarding, juggling - you name it, there always seemed to be that glass ceiling I could never get over. Every time I practiced, it seems as if I had to start from the very beginning and relearn the basics
Also, as a child, I used to act out in, well, weird ways - but was at the same time very shy and felt, very much a misfit. Sometimes, I would act out aggressively.
I wonder if all this points to being simply in a state of slight confusion and aggravation from outside stimulus, a slight pull inward towards myself and my acting out was just over compensation of attempting to create an identity with myself with a world I was having a hard time understanding, fully. My current clumsiness is just me being a little off-balance from never really figuring it out when I was, like three.
Or, that all could just be buuuuuuullshit - me wanting to make a confession to my inadequacy, while being bombarded with what seems to be absolute genius in talent at every corner. I'll never know my early medical history, so it's really not of my immediate concern, anyways.
