Dear Fucker who stole my car stereo, (the third one of this car alone),
Thank you, so much for not breaking my window, but gaining access to my car by simply bending the window that is off its track because of cheap manufacturing techniques of the automotive corporation. It was a pleasure to get rid of that $45 POS. It took me about four months to figure out how to get AM radio stations on it, but once I did, driving was a lovely experience - let me know if you'd like the box and all the mounting accessories - they won't do me much good anymore;
By the way: I hope you enjoy the Ward Churchill CD that accompanied my copy of, "Pacifism As Pathology".
Also, thank you for not stealing my Talking Heads: '77 CD, or my Mr Pacman: Star Hustler CD. Next time, please put the papers you scattered from my glove compartment back in the glove compartment and realize that would have been the last place I'd put the handy detachable face.
Dear gang of six police officers riding large motorcycles,
I do appreciate letting me know that my good friend and I were one half hour past park curfew last Thursday as we were admiring Denver's fine skyline from the vantage point of Riverfront Park's public sculpture of a compass.
It's appreciative getting a pat down I was tricked in allowing and having my wallet, camera and pockets searched. I'm sorry you didn't find anything but carefully saved receipts kept for tax purposes for my self-owned business.
I understand that your little entourage was on the lookout for heroin shooting junkies that plague our fine public sculptures like cockroaches and I know fear has been proven as best practice when apprehending negligent (bad alex!) park lovers, such as myself and my good friend. Next time, I will have to ask if it was necessary to handcuff the young women whom I was with who weighs 100 lbs and stands 5'2" to give her a ticket.
I very special thanks in giving me back my bottle of wine with my ticket. I'll be sure to call the number to find out what my debt to society comes to.
Dear alex,
I am not going to allow you to buy new, fancy things, unless you learn to take care of them! Those Wayfarers were expensive and losing them last night - at night! by the way, was really fucking stupid. You weren't even drunk. What's up? You get what comes to you, you know;
