February 18, 2004: Confusing myself leads me to believe that I am a Sadist.

< The Writing on the Wall.... is upside down?

| ??? |

we don't need another hero. >

I turned not only the painting, but the clock, calendar, letter sheet AND the camera itself,

upside down.

What this accomplishes in the film is that everything looks right-side-up, except me - which is the exact opposite of what is really going on. I think gravity is one of the most powerful forces that we face daily. If you study physics (and I do in only in the, "I watch NOVA every now and again" type of way), you'll find out that gravity is actually one of the weakest forces known.

We know that we are "grounded" to the Earth because of our sense of touch - we feel that we aren't falling. When you create a line drawing, you are in fact imagining that you are touching the outline of the object or person you are drawing. Every brush stroke on this painting is the act of myself touching the canvas with paint in a very forumlated way.

I wish there was an easy way to flip the phenomenom of the "feeling" of gravity. Perhaps this want was the reason I learned to walk on my hands. The pull of gravity is perhaps just one of many things we feel all the time, although our bodies choose to ignore it, like a chronic pain.

I've never awoke to feel a hundred miles of air pressing against me, but I do wish this sometimes.

Maybe that's what a dream of falling rapidly is - it's just you're body forgetting to forget it's connected with everything in this world.

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< The Writing on the Wall.... is upside down?

| ??? |

we don't need another hero. >