June 5, 2001: an L letter

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Dear Dhalia,

Of all wonders,

What Continent have you not traveled to now? I'm guessing all of the hospitable ones 'cept Austrailia, there's still ruling of the hospitableness of the Outback I hear. It seems like ages since I saw you last, talked to you at all really, but who knows... it could be just a few weekends.

Things ov' here are pretty slow and boring. School for the summer is a startin up and I managed to bag me a few classes - an Art History class, the one I bought the book for in January that I lost, I hate the idea of having to re-buy a book, any book. By any chance, do you have it somewhere? I may also be takin' a Creative Writing class, on account that I didn't go to the writing class I took fall semester and failed outta it because of that. Stupid teacher thought I was gonna kil her cause of a note I passed to 'er. I wasn't gonna take that, that's just disrespectful. I haven't hurt a kid since I was a kid - 6th grade in fact.

In my free time, I've been drawing quite a bit - mechanical structures, much harder to draw then them bones and peoples I've been dabbling in. Since the dimensions are already straight and perfect, to recreate that perfection takes a steady hand and patience. Been drinking too much coffee as usual. I may also be takin' a water media class, learn how to paint with water 'heh, water and paint of course, haven't done that since highschool, and I hated it, worse than havin' to get up all early for school just to sleep through algerbra. I'm gonna take it cause I'm scared of all that and I think it would treat me right.

Don't worry, you're dogs are fine, the big, dumb fat one's been having stomach problems and always seems to be either cons'pated or in the middle of the runs. The house lord isn't taking much of this no more, he seems to always show the house when he's in his runnin' mood - I've had to call the good rug doctor a few times already. Been talkin' to your Ma'am 'bout all this stomach problems, she says he's always been like that and them dogs have always been expensive and messy. Heh, all I could think of there was you, and make the same comments - don't take that as a put down or nothin - but it fits y'know? The small, dumb, skinny one has been much better, hasn't gotten out at night, shits when he's not 'possed to, but that's what shit zoos are 'bout eh? I can't get to the fancy dog park, but we go to the regular park and just try to stay outta the way of them soccer players, it seems no one minds then. The shit zoo runs runs runs round in all these circles and the big tubby black one tries to follow in the inside track, taking a few minutes to try to shit (on good days) or a whole lot of minutes shitting his brains out. I don't dare try to pick up that crap (been good 'bout it, taking the plastic bags with me) since I hear all the rainbow kids on Pearl Street have that gardia thing.

Been working a lot in the office trying to save up money for school - This summer is gonna put me 'bout a grand back, I need to make at least 4 times that before fall, and then I still don't know what I'm gonna do for rent. The University don't like me much, and put me on suspension, the kind you can't get out of till your grades are 'bove the red line. My grades are all drooping red and it's my own fault I'm sure. Been mending past feuds with teachers in hope they'll help me out. I need to make straight 'A's with 9 credits, I'm in for 6 at the moment, need 9 before August, I've never been good like you in math. I like to draw though and I think I can do just that without the University.

Gonna have to be sincere with you a moment and tell you I've been missing you, I think the best times I can 'member is sitting with you on a Saturday night after going out and just watching a movie while drinking that herbal tea; you just in my arms and almost faling asleep with the comforter 'round both of us and the dogs on the floor or on the top of both of us. Both our muscles tired from playing in the snow all day at Summit County. At the same time I'm thinking of all the reasons why we aren't together no more, it hurts to think of those two different feelings in the same breath. Leaves me wonderin' just how to feel; I can't be mad at you, you can do what you wish and leave me behind you, but I don't wanna be mad at myself cause I was just being me y'know?

Been real out in the open lately, meeting new people and trying to move on like you said I should. I think part of the reason I'm going to the University is just that, home is quiet without you. Melinda turned out to be a fine roomate till she went back home to California. Just to let you know, they never finished that astronaunt stuff, they called it quits and never even made it to Houstin this time. I was gonna draw Melinda that sock puppet of yours just cause she wanted me to. I've always wanted to work for NASA.

I met this wild girl with golden curly locks and a boys name; she has most of the same tastes of art and all that fancy stuff as I have, she was a real doll and smart too - I found out she's moving away in a few hours! She's movin' to the New Mexico to study art and photography in the desert, she seems to like it there and her mothers been running her rampit in the mean time so I only got to hang out with her a few times. I'm gonna give her my address so we can be penpals like we are, I'm gonna get me a typewriter to type me letters up all pretty and steal that fancy paper from work, that kind that looks different if you hold it at an angle and looks almost old but mostly dignified with the smoky, almost see-through quality. I wrote my brother about all the things tumbling 'round but like always he never likes to write back.

That's bout it round here, hope everything over seas is kind to you. I must confess again and tell you I'd send this letter to you, but I don't know where you are. I'd probably not write it if I knew you'd come back soon. I have this feeling we're gonna have a big talk with lots of yellin and crying and hopefully some huggin at the end. If you do come back. I'll have a flower all painted for you and more if I thought it would be necessary or more accurately, if I thought there was the chance of me and you. If that was necessary for you. I'm gonna go to sleep soon, go to work early, get all my new textboks on my lunch break and then get back to the University to learn, haven't done that in a while.

Take care wherever you are, it's probably in the middle of the day and you're on a train to some museum whose paintings I've only seen in prints at class,

- alex Simoni 1:45 am

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