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how is one supposed to write what he did that day when one only slept in
dreamless chunks too out of it to interact with coworkers, even their girlfriend
in such a way as to seem caring or wanting to talk to them? Dhalia woke me out at
about 3:40 pm. we went to the realitors and we signed the lease for next year. we
got a little two bedroom house on 30th street. i don't like realitors much i
think. they seem way too ready to give us this house, "don't have the
downpayment.... well what can you give us? thats fine, sign here and here and
here." i hate money. i hate giving someone half i make a month to live in a house
i don't even own. i'm going to be living with my girlfriend. thats kinda
disturbing and i dunno if my recent semi insomnia is because of this, because of
work, of family, school, etc, or that i just stayed up too late one monday and i
haven't gotten it together yet.
i got taken out to healthy habits for my birthday. healthy habits is this all you
can eat salad bar pretty much. my brother used to take me and all he'd do is fill
his plate up with the pickled herring. i dunno, he just had a thing for pickled
herring. i went back to d's house and promptly fell asleep on her bed, woke up
again at about 10:30 pm, watched southpark and decided i wasn't tired anymore and
that i'm going to stay up the whole night to work, and come to class tired again,
i've somehow reversed my sleep patterns. all you need is enough coffee and a chip
on your shoulder i guess. Dhalia wanted to know what was wrong and i couldn't
really tell her, not because it was her, or because it was somewhat bad, or all
bad, or i wanted a break up with her or anything, maybe its that i'm falling into
something more than puppy love, maybe i just want to love her, but there's small
things that get to me, perhaps one of those things is that she doesn't really beleive in love
or has been hurt, whatever (Bumper Sticker: I believe in dragons, nice men and other
mythical creatures) i missed swing danicing, rockclimbing, but at about 1:00 am i
managed to go skateboarding, i little rusty, but thats alright, i had to stop for
a bit because of my bum hip. felt good. still had a headache afterwards but i'm
still here in boulder with her and not in ct alone and depressed.
one week until i'm nineteen, soon i'll be living in my own house with this crazy girl
2000 miles from home without any help from my family, going to school
and supporting myself. what's there to lose sleep over?
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